Q: Memorial Day was first called “Decoration Day” because of the practice of decorating soldier’s graves with flowers. Wasn’t that stupid?
A: Yup!
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Q: TRUE or FALSE: On Memorial Day, the flag should be at half-staff until noon only, then raised to the top of the staff.
A: FALSE: The flag should be at half-mast until noon, then raised to the top of the mast. A staff is a bunch of employees at a business.
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Q: “Taps” is often played at ceremonies on Memorial Day. What does the acronym BAPs, the title of the 1997 Halle Berry comedy, stand for?
A: Black American Princesses.
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Q: TRUE or FALSE: Memorial Day is a day of remembrance of those who have died serving our country.
A: FALSE: “Dead Waiter and Waitress Day” is the day of remembrance of those who have died serving our country.
——-
Q: Flowers and flags are the two most popular items people use to remember soldiers. What are the two most unpopular items.
A: The two most unpopular items are flowers with cum on them and flags with cum on them.
[video]
We put the twee in TWEENZ!
Lizzie Martinez and I do “improv” shows around New York City.
Ask me if you want me to tell you when our next show is. Or don’t.
[video]
Improv Skits
(The following is the text from an unsolicited email I received from my cousin.)
From: Greg Racine <*******@hotmail.com>
Date: Fri, Jan 20, 2012 at 3:25 PM
Subject: Improv Skits
To: Tim Racine <timoracine@gmail.com>
Hey Tim,
This is your cousin Greg. Your dad gave me your email when I saw him
at Daisy’s baptism. Sorry you couldn’t be there but I guess you
probably couldn’t afford the flight. Whatever, your dad told me that
you’re still trying to do the improv skit thing. I’ve got a lot of
great ideas for that too, but I’m not going to quit my job at the
Subaru dealership and not have any money. JK.
I’ve got a bunch of improv skit ideas for you and you should do them.
They’re really funny and you should use them.
Here’s the first one you should use:
A dumb idiot comes to a car dealership looking for a car. The idiot
talks to this cool car salesman who really impresses him with how he
works out all the time. He’s got big biceps and the idiot is
intimidated that. So, the dummy says, “I want to buy a car, but I
don’t want to get ripped off.” The cool car salesman says back to the
guy that he’s not going to ripped off because all the cars are good.
Here’s another one you should use:
There’s a cool car salesman sitting in the break room and he’s talking
to an uncool car salesman. They’re both drinking coffee and talking
about cars. The car salesman that isn’t the cool one says that he
likes a car that isn’t good. The cool car salesman disagrees with
this freaking moron and says that he’s stupid for liking the car he
said he said he liked.
Here’s the third one:
A cool car salesman is talking about sports with different car
salesmen in the showroom and in walks a foreign guy (it doesn’t matter
what kind, any brown will do). This brown guy is a terrorist and he
starts shooting a gun at everyone. The other salesmen in the showroom
are killed but not the cool car salesman. The the cool car salesman
throws a Subaru at the terrorist. The brown terrorist is dead. The
cool car salesman has sex with a beautiful blonde and his wife never
finds out about it.
These improvs are really funny so you should use them and then tell
everyone that I did them first.
See you at Christmas,
Greg
Anonymous asked: Hey my name is Tim Racine also, you're a weird guy.
Awesome, bro.
[video]
[video]
[video]
[video]
True Manliness
The Ray’s Tap Reading Series returns at Rhino Fest 2012
Featuring the talents of
Matt Test
Margaret Chapman
Scott Whitehair
Dave Snyder
Daniel Shapiro
Kristin Leucke
Kyle Beachy
Lindsay Hunter
Ian Belknap
Tim Racine
Chris Bower
Kristin Lueke
Natalie Edwards
Mason Johnson
and Robbie Q. Telfer.
Join us. Show is at 11 PM on January 14th at 11 PM. Prop Thtr 3502 N. Elston. All shows at Rhino or 15 bucks or pay-what-you-can
Poster by the amazing Susie Kirkwood Check out her work at susiekirkwood.com
It’s human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria, as Creative Differences deconstructs it all. Watch Creative Differences explore Miles Stroth’s improv form, “The Deconstruction.”
$5 or FREE w/ any improv student I.D.
Special Guests:
Mr. Fahrenheit (Artemis Benicasa, John Brugal, Sean Curry, Marc Davila, Jared Dymbort, Dan Gayatgay, Kiran Helferty, Jon LaPearl and Nathan Soutar)
Creative Differences is:
Michael T. Astolfi (shiny)
Michelle Ciotta (shiny, Philo’s Folly)
Andrea Kornstein (Arthur Warburton)
Tim Levine (This Week Tonight)
Sean Reidy (Seersucker, Philo’s Folly)
Mckenzie Trent (A Scandal in Bohemia)
Artwork by Tim Levine.This is happening and you should go to it!
Just added Dicks and Stones (Lizzie Martinez, Tim Racine) to the lineup! This show just got even more awesome.
(via thepit-nyc)
Teenager of the Year will be appearing with Harmontown (Dan Harmon and Jeff Davis) at 8:00pm on January 29, 2012 at The Eureka Theater in San Francisco, CA as part of SF Sketchfest.